What You’ll Learn As a White Man Dating a Black Woman
Dating is not easy and the steep learning curve that comes with interracial dating can present a challenge for many of us that no one has been willing to talk about.
With the increasing number of interracial dating sites and the fact that the number of interracial marriages have tripled in the U.S. since the 1980s, it’s probably time these conversations start happening.
If you’re a white guy and you’ve just started dating a black woman or are thinking about it, patience and understanding is required from both of you as a lot of cultural differences will need to be explained, which often result in some pretty funny exchanges.
Then there are the more serious things you’ll pick of on that you had no idea even existed. Here are a few things you’ll learn when developing a relationship with a black woman.
People may refuse to believe you’re together… even though you’re obviously together
You can walk into a restaurant or bar with your girlfriend and people will pretend like you are not a couple. This was especially true when it came to white women – you’ll quickly find that they flirt even when your arm is wrapped around your girlfriend or you’re holding hands.
It doesn’t end there, servers may hand her the check, as if you aren’t her boyfriend – which is extremely insulting for any man to deal with.
Having a Black Girlfriend Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Biased
You may think you are the most aware white guy on the planet, but chances are that’s not the case – and it’s a tough pill to swallow.
If you are hesitant for her to meet your friends and family or find that you date black women exclusively because of some fetish-like reason or feel like dating a black woman makes you better than black men, there’s probably some issues you have that you weren’t aware of.
Don’t beat yourself up for having biases toward black men or women, everyone has a bias, whether or not we want to admit it. However, you should beat yourself up if you don’t take some time to examine some of the thoughts popping up in your head, and then do some soul searching.
It’s not cool to date anyone if you know you don’t exactly see them as an individual or are ashamed of them.
You’ll Understand, Firsthand, How White Male Privilege is Viewed
Everyone has heard the term ‘white male privilege’ but it’s another thing entirely when your partner is at the bottom of the hierarchy – and you have no damn clue.
When you’re with her, you’ll see how salespeople don’t address her and follow her through store aisles. Her credit score is probably higher than yours but you still get better loan rates.
It’s uncomfortable and, honestly, may be hard to believe at first. After so many experiences though, you start to get it. Worse, you have to deal with the fact that she lives with it every day.
The good news is that your similarities and differences don’t make or break the interracial relationship, it’s the dynamics at play between you two.
With mutual respect, love and trust, you’ll learn, laugh and grow together a day at a time.
Categories: interracial dating advice